So it's Good Friday.

Each year I approach this Holy Day with apprehension and self-confusion. If that makes any sense. I'm not a confirmed Catholic, but I was raised Irish Roman Catholic. My whole extended family is devout.
I may not take all of the creeds and dogmas to heart, or even agree, but I still take advantage of being apart of something greater.
There is one twist that is hard for me-experiencing religious ceremonies with the parish community, in other words, the Church is a family and we experience it all together.
I've always been more comfortable with enriching myself with Catholicism, on a personal basis.

(What I really have a hard time with is the stereotype and preconceptions many non-catholic and even catholics have of the Church. Streaming news worthy stories of sexual abuse does not define or even represent this faith. No catholic recognizes or would welcome those individuals as "real" priests or followers of our creed. Yes, every since Catholicism became a major influence in the world, the Church has made and done terrible things, to innocent people. I don't want to defend this one bit, because this very fact also challenges my own belief, but no Catholic or any layman sees those aspects of the Church's history as the actually religion. The Popes that commit vile and immoral acts are not Catholic! I think it's hard for an "outsider" to see the actually depth of the true Catholic Church because it is very detailed and somewhat secretive. But, please, in all good faith, don't judge or see the faith through others' immoral and condemned acts.)

When I was in inpatient treatment for my sever anxiety and depression, about four years ago, we would have a weekly "Spirituality" class. A Champlain would come to visit and encourage us to talk about our value and whatnot. There was a very blinded and ignorant girl who proclaimed that Roman Catholics ruined Christianity. This shot through my limbs. I was unable to speak or correct her. I ,somewhat, screamed that "Catholics founded Christendom and started the effects of other Christian sects" "so if anything, catholics created the first Christian institution of faith!"
I was so, not enraged, but shocked at her comment.
I guess I don't even know what I think about it, even four years later. But It has helped me to know how I don't want to be.

I was lucky to grow up in a family and neighborhood that encouraged communication between faiths. I think it is essential to immerse yourself to understand foreign faiths. I have continued my curiosity in Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and Judaism, and the multiple similarities between all of them and their roots of their creation.

If anything, I have stayed a "somewhat" catholic for the mere joy of learning about "living history" and having the privilege to experience ceremonies and rituals that have widened my perspectives.

I think That's all I have to say, probably not, but when am I ever able to say all that I want to say? : ]